From: t~n.cheyenne.com (Ted Welter) Date: Mon, 10 Jun 96 23:06:52 CDT Subject: art & ego; WAS: dealing with stagehogs
Thanks for all the advice from the list; as Mr. Stagehog does seem rather tight with the club owner (or the staff at least; I don't know which one of them is the owner), and as the MC is pretty hands off (well, he does move the guitar players on and off, and he does a good job of it from what I can see, but then again I'm not one of the pickers waiting to play...) I'm gonna give the jam in question a rest. There's another one on the same night that a bit further drive (to a worse part of town), so I guess I'll have to check that out.
Trouble is, except for the hog in question, I really like the musicians I've met there, and it's a great place to meet other musicians who might need a harp player. And, truth to tell, Mr. Stagehog has pushed my playing to a higher level in a wierd way. When I get up there, I want to vanquish him with my blowing; this is maybe not the best incentive there is (harp slinging / musical one-up-man-ship kinda misses the point when I think about it more calmly). Anyway, something HJ wrote reminded me of an issue I've been meaning to bring up on the list:
In a previous message, Harmonica" John Frazer wrote: > > Tell this loser to pull his head out of his ass and realize that his is not the only ego in the joint. >
Well, he is about the only ego in the joint, or at least the only one whose ego is so nakedly and childishly on display.
Partly from observing this guy, and thinking about how much art depends on putting intimate parts of yourself up for display and possible ridicule whether you're a musician, actor, writer, whatever, I came up with the following thought: To be an artist with an audience, you'd better have an ego made of titanium, or no ego at all...
So which is it? I've admired the art (if not the personalities) of both types of folks. I like to tell myself I fall into the second category (which is a bit of a lie; I'm no zen practitioner, and I enjoy the adulation of audiences and especially of other musicians I admire, but that's not the *only reason I play), but the part of me that pushes to get better from a technical standpoint at least seems very much tied up with ego. Know what I mean? Part of me plays because it makes my heart dance (I play mostly when no one else is around); part of me plays because it makes other people dance; and part of me plays because the spotlight and applause and compliments feed the old toad called ego...anyone else know what I mean?